HELP!!!

I realised it definitely takes a miracle for me to finish my coursework in time now. I'm doomed......

Yaya, I know it's ALL my fault. Don't rub it in.

But I'm PANICKING! So panic...That I spent a lot of time on something totally unrelated to my priority. I created a forum, again.

This time it's not a fan site though. It's a forum specially dedicated to everyone in my class, where we get to share info on our studies and everything else. So you can't really say it's a complete waste of time and energy.


http://learn2liebetter.forumer.com

Go and register in the forum, guys.

Just pretend you didn't see this ok?

Jealousy creeps under my skin. Is this some kind of frisson? Or am I just envious of people getting the same thing easier than I do?

Every single detail hurt me. Not in form of stabbing, but more like scratching; peeling a very small amount of the surface of my skin at one time. Yet I had to endure and fake a smile, and will have to endure and smile, for a long time perhaps.

Maybe it IS frisson. But I think I should be grateful it is not something more serious than frisson.

Somehow, I’d love to believe this is all plain envy.

One thing for sure: Jess, I’ve proven you wrong. Turns out you can’t be “feeling” the right thing all the time.

Turns out Mom is also wrong, for overestimating her daughter. Turns out I myself was imagining things which are too good to happen to me, too impossible to happen to me; assuming one kind of behaviour was hinting a certain kind of emotion……

Turns out one word, could have meant many different things.

Why can’t I learn from mistakes? Have I not embarrassed myself enough already???
The prediction is wrong! Frisson can never overcome love! Whatever they predicted, I am now sure it will never happen. I am forgetting it for good.

P/S: Once again, I'm posting an entry that no one in the world would understand. Except maybe Jess. But she wouldn't be reading my blog anyway. Even if she does, she will only understand half of it. Perfect! Just what I want!

I have something to say!

Finally, the only time in the past two weeks that the guys are out playing "Lucky" (a game of pool) and no one is chatting with me on MSN. And what am I doing?

Blogging, when I should be doing my coursework or assignment.

Can't help it. I haven't been updating my blog frequently. I know it's not like I have any readers, but who knows? Maybe one day I'll get lucky and posted an inspiring entry, and then I'll get famous and the next thing I know I'm hosting a show on Channel [V] (it's unfair. Malaysians don't get to host shows on MTV).

Haha! As if that's ever gonna happen.

Anyway, so many things happened since my last entry. Really. I never knew so many things could actually happen in two weeks, but they did. Unfortunately, I don't think I should discuss any of these incidents. Blogs can cause more troubles than you can imagine when you started giving TMI. Trust me, I've been there.

Alright, I admit. I'm running out of things to write! If only life could be less boring here in Nilai!!!

Well, actually, life isn't boring here. Going to class every day is like going to a civil war. Politics going on every day. You know, our Constitutional Law lecturer shall love us to death, 'cause we are definitely applying the political theories she is teaching us in our daily lives.

Oh, here's an idea! I'll write out everything I want to say but I don't get a chance to say them out loud. Like posting shout-outs in Friendster:

1. "I wanna thank my friends for being here with me when I'm fed-up with everything that is happening. Honestly, I don't think I've ever had so many friends who actually like me and treat me like part of their family in my entire life. It's such a nice feeling, knowing that they are people supporting me. You guys are so so nice and I'm touched."
2. "I wanna thank you, Manfer. Because for once you are telling me to fight back instead of telling me to tolerate and endure. For once you are not scolding me for finding trouble. I think you finally realised that in my case, it's always the trouble that finds me. Haha! Love you so much!"
3. "My life is SO OVER! How am I ever gonna finish TWO coursework in less than one month???"
4. "I really can't imagine how a person who has talked bad about someone publicly could actually turn around and blame the person whom she'd talked bad about. It's like saying, 'It's entirely your fault that I talked bad about you. Do you know my friend hate you since secondary school? Because my friend hate you, I have to hate you. So you can't blame me for talking bad about you. It's your fault because you made my friend hate you.' Excuse me, but does this even make sense??? If you wanna hate me, by all means, start thinking for yourself and hate me for your own reason, not your friend's. But if you're gonna say you hate me because I wear makeup to class, I'm sorry. I believe that is my right whether or not I wanna put on makeup. It's not against the law and it's certainly none of your business."
5. "People change. I believe I used to be a person who can't keep my mouth shut if I disagree on something. Maybe that's the reason why many people hated me. But I'm really trying to be a better person. I am. Why am I still getting into trouble? Why am I still the target to be destroyed? WHY???"
6. "Cannon, I think we should start sleeping more than 4 hours a day. We are practically dozing off in class every day. But chatting with you is such a fun. Haha! Can't help it."

Enough shout-out for one day. Time to go work on my assignment. Hehe.