What is the purpose of living...

...without my favourite TV drama showing every day at 7 p.m. from today onwards??!!

I won't mind if I bought the DVD, but I can't find it anywhere. Just like I can't find it when I was addicted to it 5 years ago.

God, is it necessary to punish me this way?

Erm, I guess God isn't exactly punishing me, but is trying to stop me from going completely crazy, before things get out of hand. Seriously, everyone knows how I get obsessive with things I like. I do think I'm sort of an extremist. I love AND hate things to the fullest. The last time I was obsessed with a singer, I went all the way to Europe just to get his special edition CD. Ended up getting his calendar for about RM 70. And the only time he came to Malaysia, I actually WON his concert tickets in a Hitz.TV SMS contest! I got the VJ calling me and stuff. I've never won any lucky draw before. It was SO COOL......until I found out the concert was on a school day and therefore no one will be able to accompany me to KL and also the fact that my mom will kill me for missing school to catch my idol. That saddened me so much that I cried for 2 days continuously.

Gawd, how idiotic can a 17-year-old be? Looking back at what I did, I finally know.

My recent obsessions didn't cause me buying air tickets or concert tickets though. Instead, I source my energy to something less expensive: creating fan sites.

Anyway, back to the topic. I'm really sad that the series ended. What am I gonna do all day without a nice TV series to watch???

Erm......actually, I have 2 coursework and 1 assignment. But I decided to temporary ignore the fact. LOL!

So I'm spending more time online nowadays than usual. To search for news about Nick Cheung and Jessica Hsuan. You know, just to catch up from where I've left it 4 years ago. So far, I've found out that Nick's 11-month-old daughter is named Justine (what a nice name); and that when Chae Rim got divorced with her husband he was one of the suspects (another was Alec Su); and Jessica finally broke up with her businessman bf.

I used to wish Nick & Jessica were a couple in real life, although I knew for sure that they will never end up together. They were both fully committed with someone else at that time. It's definitely impossible to them to be together now, since Nick is married. Well, it doesn't bother me much. I've passed the age where it bothered me whether my idols end up together. Besides, even if they did - end up together, I mean - they might probably get divorced like Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson (erm......is there any connection between those two couples? Nah, it just rhymes).

Anyway, they were my first idols. I've never liked any artiste enough before that to look for their info online. And I think I should remind you what the internet connection was like 5 years ago. There was no Streamyx. It was difficult to search for Chinese sites using Yahoo or Google or anything. My classmates actually believed that the "Ask Miss X" sections in entertainment magazines tell you EVERYTHING there is to know about your idol. I was the only one in class who would search for info online. So you can imagine, I was hailed the "idol specialist" in my class. Anything you'd like to know about your idol, turn your head around and ask me. If I can't answer you immediately, come back tomorrow and you'll receive a 10 paged long portfolio about your idol.

Yup, that was what Esther Danielle Tio was like, 5 years ago. Gives me shudder now that I think of it. I wonder how many extra As I'd have gotten in my SPM if it weren't for my idol obsessions. It didn't affect my PMR though. I still got 8As. But that's nothing to be proud of. Coz everyone else in my class and the class next to us got 8As in PMR when I was in secondary. That makes almost 90 straight A students in our year.

Whatever. I just hope my obsession won't get in the way of my studies again, which I think is exactly what is going to happen......Sigh......