It's hard to say goodbye

Don't get me wrong. No one died! It's just that...my dad left for Malacca this morning.

I haven't told many people about this. Only my bf knows at this point. My father was promoted. The only Chinese on the list and the most junior person to be promoted to this position. The only thing is he has to transfer to Malacca.

I don't feel particularly sad about it, just a little weird. It's not like I don't love my dad. Of course I do. I just don't feel sad because we are used to it. Dad wasn't home when he went studying in USM. He wasn't home when he worked in Kuala Kubu Baru. I don't really remember, but I think it wasn't until I was in secondary school that my dad got transferred back to Ipoh.

The weird feeling does not come from the fact that I won't be able to see my dad every day like I used to (I started university. I don't see my family all the time). It's because I know things will be different, again, for my mom and my younger sister. After this semester break I'll be going back to university. My maid will be leaving within this week. With my mom working every day, who is going to keep an eye on my brother so that he doesn't do anything illegal (I'm not exaggerating)? After he joined me in university next year, who is gonna keep my younger sister companied? She's not a normal kid. She doesn't go to school. I'm sure she'll be feeling lonely when we're all gone. I hate to think about that......

Suddenly, I wish I could go back to when I was little. I used to tell my mom that I wouldn't leave home no matter what I do in the future. I will get a degree in Ipoh ( I used to think there will be a university in Ipoh when I was ready to attend). I will work in Ipoh (That's before I want so badly to leave this country, stay overseas and never come back). I will never leave my family.

Before going to university, the thought of everyone leaving home never crossed my mind. Guess I wasn't ready to grow up then. Maybe I am still not ready to grow up yet.